Musings: Life as an Introvert

During a discussion with fellow classmates about revision and this upcoming exams (!!!), someone noticed me, for the first time, quietly sitting in the storm of conversation and contently listening.

This (rare) encounter inspired me to write this post. To open my doors and share with you my thoughts about being an introvert because, well, why not?

I used to want to be the confident girl with a charming personality, who always got along with everyone. However, I felt uneasy whenever I tried to pursue this concept.

I never really considered myself an introvert until the beginning of Year 11, during the time when we had to decide where to go after our GCSEs. I took a personality test to help me choose the final career path to take where the results stated that I was an introvert (INTP to be exact). 

Honestly, throughout my early teen years, I always thought that I didn't talk to anyone because I hated everybody. Oftentimes, I would avoid conversations with large groups or certain people because I felt uncomfortable or I felt it was futile as I don't really have much in common with most of my classmates so I didn't really have much to say.

But after reading about introversion, it came to mind that all these things about me fit perfectly in the criteria. I didn't really care at first until I came across the Quiet Revolution - a company established by self-proclaimed introvert, Susan Cain, which provides support and advice to introverts, to tell them they are not alone and to show the world that introverts are not under the glass ceiling. The organisation spreads the message that introverts are often underrated because they don't have the same qualities as extroverts - confidence, savvy social skills and an outgoing, assertive personality.  

I used this as a platform to create a positive and productive path that will help me achieve my goals and lead me to a more happy lifestyle!

Also, this helped me gradually embrace my introverted persona and pushed me to do more, achievable things - like acting. I thought I would give it a go and took drama for my GCSEs. Some of you may be thinking that an 'introverted actor' sounds contradictory since, you know, actors tend to be charismatic and outgoing people with a lot of confidence. But the term 'introverted actor' genuinely isn't contradictory. Introverts can have the ability to accomplish things that extroverts can. If you've read about introversion in depth, you probably know that introverts aren't necessarily scared of the external environment but much rather they prefer not to be externally exposed and they are still able to socialise and be confident - just like extroverts. 

As an introvert (and teen), probably one of the most frustrating thing is being misunderstood. People sometimes mistake my quietness for shyness or that I just hate everybody (that may be understadable though because I have the cold, resting bitch face). 

But what I do is ignore them (block those haters!) and converse my mind into my inner world where I feel free and comfortable. Because exam season is just around the corner, I try to converse my mind into positivity so I feel more motivated into doing well! 

For some people, not socializing and staying indoors most of the time may seem odd and uncommon but I enjoy it. I enjoy staying inside reading or drawing or painting or listening to music alone. I enjoy sitting by myself, thinking introspectively. It keeps me energized and content. 

Remember to embrace your personality, whether you're an introvert, extrovert or ambivert! If you ever feel you will never achieve your goals because you're not confident or socially savvy like extroverts, you are wrong. All you have to do is follow the right path and, with patience, you will eventually reach your dreams.

Thank you for reading this personal post and I hope I have inspired any introverts out there!

Nicole ᵔᴥᵔ